You met for a drink on your first date. You spent Saturday nights with take-out and a bottle of wine. You enjoyed lunches, brunches and dinners with friends, toasting with cocktails and talking for hours. You celebrated every birthday, promotion, housewarming, wedding, and so on with (a lot of) bubbly. Drinking is just something the two of you did. It was part of your lifestyle.
Over time, your life has changed. You and your partner have decided to commit to each other. Perhaps you’re moving in together or you’ve decided to start a family. Your priorities have changed. You don’t have as much time to go out because you’re more focused on your job, your family, your hobbies, your health.
You don’t drink as much as you used to, but your partner is still drinking. A lot.
You’re worried. Frustrated. Annoyed. You assumed that the two of you would be on the same page as you move forward together, but their alcohol use is having a negative impact on your life. Your partner is not as engaged in your relationship as you expected they would be. You feel like you’re doing more than your fair share of the work to keep your family going and that feels unfair. You might feel angry and/or resentful. Your partner’s drinking may have led to legal issues, financial issues and/or conflicts with family and friends.
This is not how you thought things would go.
You love your partner and you want things to change. How do you move forward?
Support for You
I’m sure you’ve done everything you can to try to get your partner to cut down or stop drinking. You’ve tried talking, yelling, cajoling, ignoring, researching support options, nagging. Most things aren’t changing and any changes don’t last long.
Over time, you’ve had to adjust your life to manage the stress and keep things working. You’re forced to pick up the pieces again and again. The time and energy you spend on trying to make things right is time and energy you’re not spending on the things that matter most to you: your work, your family, your children, your health, your peace of mind, the things that bring you joy.
It’s time to shift your focus away from your partner.
It’s time to shift your focus to you. This is where I come in.
Our sense of self can get lost when chronic stress controls our lives. Your feelings, wants and needs are important. You deserve to be heard, understood and validated.
Taking care of yourself and your needs is the first step toward positive change in your life and in your family.
As we work together, you will get the attention you deserve so that your healing can begin.
Life absolutely can get better.
Schedule a free 20-minute consultation to discuss how I can support you today.
Michelle Deely, MFT specializes in helping burned out moms find relief. Michelle offers in-person therapy in San Francisco and online therapy to clients throughout California, Nevada and Florida.